Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Miley declines to address accusations in court documents about death of Tyler Skaggs - AP News

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand how hurricane paths work

How Ticket Resellers Caused Drama at Miley Cyrus’ ‘Something Beautiful’ Tribeca Film Premiere - The Hollywood Reporter

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Has anyone ever worn leather pants? Are they comfortable?

I can count

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Two More Persona 4 Actors Have Said They're Not Returning for an Unannounced Persona 4 Remake - IGN

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for fakery

Have you ever heard of the god Priapus being the same as the god Phosphorus?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I actually pay taxes

Big Cyberpunk 2077 Updates Were Thought To Be Done, But 2.3 Patch Launches Soon - GameSpot

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Hey girls can we see some anal play?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Department of Homeland Security lists Buncombe County as 'sanctuary jurisdiction' - WLOS

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

'Just one mutation away', COVID-19-like virus in China could spark outbreak: Study - WION

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Switch, Xbox, and the portable future of games - The Verge

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Trump’s 50% steel tariffs are coming for your next fridge and dishwasher - CNN

I don’t cotton to rapists

I see through liars

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are the latest interior design trends in 2025?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have a reading level above third grade

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t buy bullshit

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter